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Rollergirls' Guide to Austin

I wrote an article for Blood & Thunder that highlight my completely biased opinion on the best stuff to do in Austin. Just in case you didn’t get your copy of Blood & Thunder yet, here’s the text of the article so you can start planning your AWESOME Austin Derby weekend! (Links and addresses for all of my recommendations are at the bottom.)


Austin is billed as the “Live Music Capital of the World.” And it’s true, you can barely walk out the door without tripping over a guitar slinger. But Austin is also the birthplace of Flat Track Roller Derby—and a killer town for eating, shopping, and imbibing refreshing adult beverages. As D the B, my kickass widower, likes to say, “Austin is a great hang.” Here are some recommendations for making your trip to the ATX for the Texas Shootout WFTDA Championships one you’ll remember, even after last call.

Best Places to Roll Through Texas Rollergirls History
Legend has it that the idea of a Roller Derby revival took hold during a cigarette-and-whiskey-fueled night out at the Casino El Camino, Satan’s cocktail lounge at the crossroads of Sixth Street and Red River. The jukebox is stocked with classic punk rock, the burgers are thick and juicy, and the clientele is street fashion chic. Within staggering distance is the Texas Rollergirls unofficial clubhouse: Beerland. What could be better than the land of beer? With its basement feel inside and sidewalk smoking lounge outside, it’s like the best rec room you could ever imagine. Beerland hosts live music every night, and has supplied the beer for Texas Rollergirls bouts since day one. Be sure to introduce yourself to owners Donya and Randall, a fine pair of rabble-rousers who are deeply invested in the Austin community and know how to run a bar that’s welcoming, affordable, and fun. Around the corner is Lovejoy’s Tap Room, purveyors of handcrafted beers. There are usually three or four originals on tap, along with a dozen or so other quality draughts. Lovejoy’s was the originator of Hotrod Honey Ale, a custom brew whose bitter-sweet flavors captured the personality of our pink-n-black team. Further along Sixth, in the midst of the bars with barkers offering $1 well drinks is a blessedly wicked oasis: The Jackalope. With multiple Rollergirls slinging drinks behind the bar and delicious bar food rolling out of the kitchen, the Jackalope is the other unofficial Texas Rollergirls clubhouse. Hang on the outdoor patio to indulge in a smoke and watch B-movies projected on the brick wall.

There are two bars that make it worthwhile to leave the heart of downtown. To the west, go to Wahoo’s Fish Tacos to check out the Texas Rollergirls memorabilia wall—and enjoy Cali-Mex food that’s both fresh and decadent. To the east is the Longbranch Inn, established in 1934. Today behind the bar, you’ll find Kumbalah —known frequenter of mosh pits and the winner of the Texas Rollergirls #1 Fan Award—pouring with a generous hand and flirty smile.

Best Reason to Rent a Car
You might think that a plate of smoked meat can’t change your life. You’re wrong. A trip to the Salt Lick Barbecue, a 25-minute ride through the Hill Country to the little town of Driftwood, is a pilgrimage. And your spirit will be moved. Don’t even bother to glance at the menu, just look the server in the eye and say, “We’ll have family style.” Tender brisket, tangy sausage, and fall-off-the-bone ribs are accompanied by ranch beans, potato salad that’s a tasty sponge for soaking up the house BBQ sauce (in a pitcher on the table), and cole slaw made from the owner’s secret Hawaiian family recipe. Request a side of the habanero BBQ sauce and make ‘em think you’re a local. Then go all touristy on their ass and ask to go behind the counter to look at the meat hanging over the smoker; take a photo to show the suckers back home. Save room for the blackberry cobbler dessert and answer the question, “Do you want that al la mode?” with a hearty yes. Warning: drive quickly and safely back to Austin; food coma sets in approximately 45 minutes after your last bite. Do not make plans for the evening.

Best Free “Only in Austin” Tourist Stop
If BBQ is the manna of the gods, then Stevie Ray Vaughan is Austin’s numero uno rock deity. Legend has it that Stevie had Salt Lick BBQ flown to him when he was on tour. Load “Texas Flood” and “Pride and Joy” onto your iPod and pay your respects to the blues guitar legend at his memorial statue at Auditorium Shores on the fringe of downtown.

Best Place to Chill Out
In other parts of the country, September is sweater weather, but in Austin, we’re still swimming outdoors as Halloween approaches. One of the best places to dip your toes or take the plunge is Barton Spring Pool. Found in Zilker park—the home of the ACL Music Festival—the pool is a refreshing 68-degrees year-round and is fed 32 million gallons of water from the underground Edwards Aquifer. Entrance to the pool is $3; bring a towel and hang out on the grassy bank under a canopy of trees that have stood for centuries. Then take a 25-minute ride around the park on the Zilker Zephyr Miniature Train to enjoy the park without having to do all that annoying walking.

Best Places to Stock Up on Fishnets
Need new fishnets? A Cleopatra wig? False eyelashes? A killer little black dress for the after-party? Electric Ladyland is a massive costume shop in the heart of a cute li’l shopping district on South Congress. Racks of costumes for sale and rent are bordered by a counter stocked with all flavors of fishnets, sunglasses, and gloves, and a wall covered floor-to-ceiling in jewelry. On the east side of town, visit The Bazaar for slinky dresses, sexy hose, lingerie, and a make-up lovers paradise of powders and potions. Buy yourself a bottle of Final Seal, the secret elixir that will ensure your make-up lasts from the first whistle to last call.

Best Late Night Snacks
Austin has some great 24-hour joints if you want a full meal (Magnolia Café, Star Seeds, Kerbey Lane), but there are two can’t-miss quick bite institutions: Mrs. Johnson’s Donuts make Krispy Kremes seem like hockey pucks in comparison. Open overnight from 8:00 p.m. until noon, Mrs. Johnson’s has been serving donuts with the ideal balance of grease and sugar since 1947. And when you wander out of the bars on Red River, follow your nose to the line of hipsters, punks, and sorority sisters waiting in line for a dose of protein from the Hot Dog King’s truck. All-beef Chicago dogs, gourmet chicken, and veggie links are tucked into fluffy, soft-but-chewy Italian rolls. The countertop row of hot sauces and condiments—jalapenos, onions, sauerkraut—is tidy and the cans of soda are icy.

Best Places to Get Your Skate On
For old school rink appeal, you can’t beat Playland Skate Center. It’s where Flat Track Derby started, and it’s got all the appropriate accoutrements: giant sparkly disco-ball roller skate, lavender acrylic floor, fog machine, overhead colored light show, and a booming sound system. Outdoors, we’ve got the Veloway, a 3.1-mile paved loop exclusively for cyclists and skaters. The wide, smooth path winds through a lovely park—and it’s free! Keep your eyes open for road runners, blooming cactus, the occasional snake, and bunnies. Don’t forget your helmet and bottled water!

Best Places For Media Consumption
Get ready to part with your paycheck at the media mecca of Sixth and Lamar. Waterloo Records is the kind of music store you’d open if you had your own: a badass mix of local music and major label stuff staffed by people who seem to really care about music. There are plenty of listening stations, a used section, and an impressive rack of music mags and books. Across the street is Bookpeople, the kind of book store you’d open if you had your own: thousands of magazines, a coffee shop, nifty Texas-y gifts, and deep inventory of books in every genre… staffed by people who seem to really care about books. Further along Lamar, visit Cheapo Discs, a cavernous used CD store where you can listen before you buy, thumb through a healthy vinyl collection, and pick up cheap used DVDs.

Best Places for Alterna-Gifts
You deserve a present! Atomic City, one of the first places in Austin to stock punk rock gear back in the day, is a little house stuffed to the rafters with retro-kitsch toys and knick-knacks, jewelry, and a shoe buffet: creepers, mary janes, patterned slip-ons, and more. Introduce yourself to Jim “Prince” Hughes, the owner and lover of “really cool stuff.” For f*ck me pumps or kicky flats and rock star worthy jewelry, stop by Lucky Soles. At Monkey See Monkey Do, you’ll find neato stuff you didn’t realize you needed: safety tape printed with multi-colored Jesus heads, wind-up walking sushi, stacking espresso cups, and magnets and patches galore. Tesoros is loaded with beautiful, magical goods from around the world. Day of the Dead figurines, handcrafted jewelry, art books, hand-hammered tin ornaments, vintage Mexican photo cards… all at prices that make it easy to treat yourself.

Best Places to Eat (Healthy & Cheap) Near the Convention Center
You’ve gotta keep up your strength if you’re going to survive an entire weekend of watching Flat Track Derby. And sometimes, you’ve just gotta eat a vegetable. Leaf tosses big salads with super-fresh ingredients and savory homemade dressings. Choose from 12 menu salads, or concoct your own from the ingredients bar. At Which Wich, you build your sandwich from a mix-and-match list of ingredients. Toasted to perfection, the bread is crispy and light; the fillings are generous and vibrant. Recommended: the Cuban! Mongolian Grille is one of the best secrets downtown. Grab a bowl and stack it with fresh-cut veggies, and slivers of beef, chicken, and pork—or cubes of soft or fried tofu—then whip up your own Asian sauce from the ingredients and recipes tacked at the counter. Hand off your masterpiece to be stir-fried on the giant grill; nibble on complimentary peanuts while you wait.

Best Place to Cure Your Coif
Go for the glam at Electra Beauty Lounge, a salon that treats you like rock royalty. Owner Jene and her staff are expert colorists, cutters, and waxers—and the shop is bright and feminine, with stilettos and Docs equally welcome. Bonus: the salon is located in a shopping pod that includes a coffee shop, taco joint, and tattoo shop. Don’t miss the art in the back courtyard.

Once you’ve explored these recommendations, be sure to pick up a copy of the Austin Chronicle, our free weekly rag, that lists all the current goings-on goin’ down.

Atomic City: 1700 San Antonio St.; www.myspace.com/atomiccityaustin
Barton Springs Pool: 2101 Barton Springs Road (in Zilker Park); www.ci.austin.tx.us/parks/bartonsprings.htm
The Bazaar: 1605 E. Riverside Dr.; www.insiderpages.com/b/3721912834
Beerland: 711.5 Red River St.; www.beerlandtexas.com
Bookpeople: 603 N. Lamar; www.bookpeople.com
Casino El Camino: 517 E. 6th St.; www.casinoelcamino.net
Cheapo Discs: 914 N. Lamar St.; www. cheapotexax.com
Congress Avenue Bridge Bats: Congress Avenue Bridge; www.batcon.org/home/index.asp?idPage=122
Electra Beauty Lounge: 2310 S. Lamar Blvd.; www.myspace.com/electrabeautylounge
Hot Dog King: Parking lot at the corner of Red River St. & 7th St.
Jackalope: 404 E. 6th St.; www.jackalopeaustin.com
Jo’s Coffee: 242 W. 2nd St. and 1300 S. Congress Ave.; www.joscoffee.com
Kerbey Lane Café: 2700 S. Lamar; www.kerbeylanecafe.com
Leaf: 419 W. 2nd St.; www.leafsalad.com
Longbranch Inn: 1133 E. 11th St.; www.eastinns.com
Lovejoy’s Tap Room: 604 Neches St.; www.myspace.com/lovejoys
Lucky Soles: 202 Colorado St.; www.myspace.com/luckysoles
Lucy in Disguise: 1506 S. Congress Ave.; www.lucyindisguise.com
Magnolia Café: 1920 S. Congress Ave.; www.cafemagnolia.com
Mongolian Grille: 117 San Jacinto (@ 2nd St.); www.mongoliangrille.com
Monkey See Monkey Do: 1712 S. Congress St.; www.myspace.com/msmd
Mrs. Johnson’s Doughnuts: 4909 Airport Blvd; www.mjbakery.com
Playland Skate Center: 8822 McCann Blvd.; www.playlandskatecenter.com
Salt Lick Barbecue: 18001 FM 1826, Driftwood; www.saltlickbbq.com
Star Seeds: 3101 N. IH 35 (frontage road @ 31st); www.starseedscafe.com
Stevie Ray Vaughan Statue: Riverside Drive & S. 1st St., on the south side of Town Lake
Tesoros: 209 Congress Ave.; www.tesoros.com
Veloway: 4801 La Crosse Ave. (near the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center); www.austinexperience.com/outdoors/spotlight/veloway/veloway.html
Wahoo’s Fish Taco: 509-A Rio Grande St; www.wahoos.com
Waterloo Records: 600A N. Lamar St.; www.waterloorecords.com
Which Wich: 259 W. 3rd St.; www.whichwich.com

wed, sep 26 at 11am
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